I have a dream, a dream to demonstrate myself to myself.
So I choose to endeavor for permit from Fudan University to bear witness to my capability.
Whether all the people start his way of pursuing his terminal goal just with a dream in his backpack, or not is unknown to me.
But to me that is the truth. I start this way with just one dream to back up me.
Actually I have not any knowledge about the method being pitched on to win my own. I just have imagined that if I want, I will make it. Hastened by my ambition and naïve dream, I start my way to the idealized goal.
I give less thought about I am who, do I fit. I never mind my real ability, instead I give much time to daydream. I give incredible possibilities to open up my potential in my mind, in my dream. Sometime I am amused, satisfied, and lost. For when I see some one who makes my dream to himself after unimaginable pains, I am encouraged, somewhat being fired up, in my mind only one idea occurred that once he can make it, so do I! out of any question! Then when I am engaged in preparation for the successful end of my dreaming way, I am not so settled down as should be for a long way to win. To be exactly no plan, no aiming progress, no time table, no schedule in written form, nothing guides, regularizes, supports me in time consciously. I am lost, especially when I encountered difficulties, blocks, unfavorable values and so on. I am lost, at that time, not to loose my heart , loose my dream, loose my ambition, my confidence, I just loose my energy, all energy disappear. In the morning I failed to get up, even I can not be able to wake up to fulfill my daily task. That one failure results a missing day, a good beginning is half the battle. When I really set down to deal with all unsettled problems, i can just spare part of my energy to book, once again I failed. I lose to myself, lose to my uninhibited disposition. i find that I must comfort my hyperactivity with snacks so that I can concentrate on the scientific context. I keep always cracking watermelon seeds or eating fruits or drinking beverage, oh, shit! then I am forced to appreciate the flavor of all that junk food.
Ok, I am tortured, but I continue, for I can not convince myself of impossibility. I continue to dream. And meanwhile I start to open my eyes.
On net I am luckily exposed to other’s precious experience, there I know that dream needs substantial painstaking efforts.
Ok, now my dream still exists, and I am willing to obey it.
I would like to conquer every blocks , I will subdue myself, I will strive to cultivate my temper to be rational.
Bless me!
I have learned a lot, and I still have a lot to learn.
I have miss many opportunities, and I still have many hopes.
